Jef Rouner

I Don’t See Why I Can’t Have Vodka on Sunday Just Because You Love Jesus

I Don’t See Why I Can’t Have Vodka on Sunday Just Because You Love Jesus

Illustration by Shelby Hohl   I am a writer who has spent…

So You Want to Live in an All-White Utopia?

White Lives Matter rally at NAACP Houston Branch. Photo: Dave Cebrero   Depending…

Voting Democrat in Texas Isn’t a Waste

Voting Democrat in Texas Isn’t a Waste

I am admittedly pretty damned hard on third party voters, and that isn’t going to change any time soon. As I said before, voting for a third party presidential candidate is the electoral equivalent to sending thoughts and prayers, a virtually meaningless act that meant to make the person saying it look sophisticated and free thinking even when the people they are voting for are really, really terrible applicants for the big chair of America.…

Why Won’t the Alt-Right Call Out Their Terrorists?

Every time a Muslim commits an act of terror by killing or injuring people, you see the same comment over and over and over again; why won’t the Muslim community condemn such actions? Of course, the chowderheads who spout that drivel never bother to check if there’s actually been any widespread Muslim condemnation, which there always is, in every case, without fail.…

Don’t Vote Your Conscience If Your Conscience Sucks

Illustration by Shelby Hohl   A little bit ago I wrote a…

Obsessing Over Candidates’ Health is Kind of Creepy

The nation was shocked this week when Hillary Clinton, a woman in her late 60s who regularly takes blood thinners and allergy meds, got a little woozy at an event where it was hot and took the afternoon off. Later, her campaign released a statement that Clinton had been traveling with pneumonia for three days.…

I Want to Live in a Republican Dystopia

There is nothing on the planet that sounds more appealing than living in a 2016 conservative's worst nightmare. If I could ride a poster of Ronald Reagan at lightspeed to shift into the alternate dimension the modern Republican Party conceives of as the worst case scenario I would be stealing plutonium right this second.…

I Don’t Care If Melania Trump Was a Sex Worker and Neither Should You

When Donald Trump lubed up and committed to actually, for real thrusting himself into the American race to be president, I made a little promise to myself. I won’t slut-shame his wife, former model Melania Trump. I won’t slut-shame her in a blog. I won’t slut-shame her on a log. I won’t slut-shame her in a tweet. I won’t slut-shame her with some meat.…

Why Aren’t American Right-Wingers and Islamic Hardliners BFFs?

Illustration by Shelby Hohl   Donald Trump has ridden a lot of…

Voting Third Party is the Electoral Equivalent of Sending Thoughts and Prayers

Every four years we get together and play American President Idol, electing…

Dear Fellow White People: Shut Up Right Now

Dear Fellow White People: Shut Up Right Now

So, I sort of zoned out reading a really good old Doctor Who novel over the last two days (Vampire Science, if you’re interested), but when I finally peeked back into the world I discovered that cops had once again killed a couple of black folks doing absolutely nothing that warranted anything more than a mild scolding, let alone being shot. Alton Sterling, a father of five, was killed by police in Baton Rouge as he was selling CDs outside a convenience store, and Philando Castile was killed after being pulled over for a busted taillight in St. Paul.…

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick Embarrasses Texans Yet Again

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick Embarrasses Texans Yet Again

Still from Dan Patrick’s YouTube video titled, “Dan Patrick - Christian Leader.”…

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