Friday, July 20, 2007

Zen and the art of dating in Montrose


Zen and the art of dating in Montrose

Time heals all wounds

First there is loneliness. Think of it as the void, the yawning, gaping abyss, the great lack. It is the un-presence, the person who isnt laying next to you on Sunday morning. The primal emptiness, to overcome this is to make peace with it. One must learn to accept this loneliness, to harness its power. To not feel guilty when your roommate comes in and catches you masturbating to Vietnamese porn.

After overcoming loneliness one must realize that they are alone. This is not as bad as it seems. If` taken to the extreme the realization that you are ultimately alone, that everyone you know and love will inevitably desert you and that you do not know if there is anything after this life might put you in a mental hospital; however it will most likely mean that you have no one to go to the movies with.

There are other fish in the sea

After alone time comes frustration. This is in many ways the hardest to overcome. The frustration stems from the failure to perceive any positive change in the situation, this can be rectified with a subtle shift in perspective.

Dont think about how you are alone and cant help but stare at all the things your ex left behind; think about how much you will get done trying to keep your mind off of the fact that you are alone and cant help but stare at all the stuff your ex left behind. Breakups are very productive, feel free to tackle those projects youve always wanted to do but never quite had the timelike making a scale model of the golden gate bridge out of tissues filled with your tears.

Youll get through this. You guys werent together that long.

Perhaps engineering isnt your forte; you can always write a book of poems or an album of indie rock hits. Be prepared for the public to ridicule your lack of originality and overly predictable approach to the subject matter though.

Which is a good thing, losing the fear of ridicule and humiliation is a necessary step to overcoming the pain of your last break up. It will help you to accept the fact that no one wants to be with you and make the inevitable slide into depression so much easier to take.

You just need a good fuck to forget all about it

Next comes the attempt to rebound, ah the rebound. This is harder than it sounds, primarily because no one wants to be thought of as the rebound relationship. No one wants to feel like they are being used to help boost someone elses self esteem, which means that those long nights just get longer.

There is a classic paradox regarding the reboundas long as you seek you will not find, once you have stopped looking you will find what you are seeking. And always remember that enlightenment can come from getting slapped across the face with a dead fish.

1 Comments:

At July 20, 2007 3:30 PM , Blogger Free Press Houston said...

alex makes sex.

 

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