On Sunday, Gaga is coming to Houston. If you don’t know this by now you’re not going unless you’re willing to spend your life savings to get a ticket. She sold out in about fifteen minutes the day they went on sale in April. Now the scalpers who beat me out of my tickets are selling nosebleed seats for hundreds of dollars. I would know because I was in line with a trillion other people when I heard the news. No matter how much I like Lady Gaga I know that there are at least one thousand teeny boppers who are “omgz lik hr bigezt f4n” and would shank the shit out of me even if I did get up to the front. Oh well, maybe she’ll play a third date in Houston. I wish.

The alternatives to seeing Gaga play are good too though. There’s still a lot going on this weekend. At least George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic are coming to town and who doesn’t love them? Friday night will also see the arrival of whine-core superstar Secondhand Serenade if you’re all about playing that skin violin.

Led Zeppelin rock god Robert Plant will be spending Saturday night performing at the Woodlands and is rumored to be doing some Led Zeppelin stuff along with solo songs and his work in late 60s group Band of Joy. I won’t even list other Saturday night shows because that one is completely impossible to compete with. Moving on, Sunday night British band Keane will be at Warehouse Live along with songwriter Ingrid Michaelson and Fran Healy, front man of Travis. If you want to hear some blues instead, go on over to the Big Easy for the Tunes for Turtles benefit concert featuring Houston blues legends like musical B/A Guitar Shorty plus dozens of others. As enticing as those reruns of Jersey Shore are, you need to get off the couch this weekend and go listen to some live music and please, no fist pumping.