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Monster Truck Madness!!!!!!!

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By Jacob Calle: Male bonding as a child was going to monster truck rallies with my dad. No baseball games. No football games. It was the loud roaring engines that blistered your ears. It was the dirt that erred to the nosebleed seats from Big Foot’s repetitive do-nut spins. Today I spoke with Dan Evans who destructs for the Rod Ryan Morningshow on 94.5 The Buzz. Yeah, yeah, I know, 94.5, 3 Doors Down, bros that play beer pong, Disturbed, and what other God awful shit that is connected with that station. Yes, I know. It’s bad, but I am writing about the monster truck that goes along with all this crap. The Rod Ryan Morning Show monster truck had it’s first debut last year and is back again to destroy the Reliant Stadium. Last year we all witnessed Dan Evan’s first performance in the Rod Ryan truck and like a virgin having sex for the first time, Dan destroyed the truck in the matter of minutes and the show was over.  Monster Jam is large circuit that travels from city to city showing the crowd what these large beasts have to offer. While Dan Evans isn’t driving the Rod truck he changes out the frame and puts on his more infamous truck DESTROYER! Dan has won in 2005 for best freestyle performance of the year. He’s been a monster trucker for 17 years and while he’s not smashing salvaged junk yard cars Dan has a limo service. So how does Dan feel about being a monster truck driver which most kids dream of, “I have the best job in the world.”, says Dan with a smile. I could only imagine. And that lucky sonavabitch Bald Ryan. Excuse me. Rod Ryan got to drive the truck for the first time today. “Rod is probably one of my best students to have even driven my truck. He took a couple laps. He learned pretty fast.” Dan replies. I am jealous of Rod. Bummer. So growing up as a monster truck fan and having a local truck in your town I am rooting for the Rod Ryan truck tomorrow night. It may seem out of place for me to say that I am a huge monster truck fan, but then again I do own the Back to the Future hoverboard and a whooly mammoth rib so perhaps monster trucks fit right in to my random life. I actually did at one time own Grave Digger’s actual tire until it was stolen. Yes, a police report was made. No, I did not ever see it again. Yes, I did cry. Talking about memorbilia! So come on out tomorrow night and don’t forget to NOT bring your ear plugs because if you do, then you’re a pussy. Let your ears ring!

Relient Stadium at 7:00pm

If you can’t make it out then come out to the next Monster Jam show on 22 of January or 5 of February.

PS. Still don’t think that 94.5 is cool? Then cheer for your other local! King Crunch from Spring!