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 Marini van Smirren
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BADVICE: GAME IS WHACK - V. 29

BADVICE: GAME IS WHACK – V. 29
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Forget sober, thoughtful, level-headed advice. Here’s the truth: BADVICE

Illustration by Shelby Hohl

Forget sober, thoughtful, level-headed advice. Here’s the truth: BADVICE

BADVICE: GAME IS WHACK - V. 29

Disclaimer: You don’t have to read this if you don’t like it. I know I sound like an butt. The title states: “BADVICE” which therefore constitutes an awareness that one reading should anticipate the nature of said bad advice.

 

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CLICK HERE TO SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION TO BADVICE

Dear all you lovely readers,
Please submit more questions. Do we need to make it easier to submit? Do you have any feedback about it? If so, let me know by shooting an email to marini@freepresshouston.com.
Love always,
Marini

This guy has been trying to holler at me. I make stuff and sell it for a living and he mentioned he wanted to buy something. I told him the cost, but he seemed hesitant, so I told him to pay me what he thought was fair, and he offered me 50% off the selling price. How do I tell this guy that his game is fucking whack?

Cut whatever it is you make in half and give it to him

 

Innocuous Cyst on the dick, drain it yourself and keep it clean, or go to the dr and have them do it?

Stay the fuck off of WebMD. Wait like 2 weeks. Keep it safe, clean, and away from holes that are not those two things. If it’s still there, your dick is going to fall off and you should probably freak out.

 

Fucking in the workplace? Terrible idea and awesome, or terrible idea and terrible.

Fucking in the workplace is like planning period sex. Sure, you can put a towel down, you can fuck in the shower; you’re still gonna have blood everywhere that you’re going to have to clean up. I guess finding what you can afford to be ruined will help in the long run.

 

Sleeping with friends: is it a good way to avoid drama and practice safe sex, or friends are total queens who can’t be trusted to be clean?

Dude, if your friend is lying to you about being clean or not and fucks you, they were no fucking friend to begin with, and I hope you don’t keep people like that close to you. Anyway, the closer the friend, the less the risk. If you’re sleeping with someone from the outer circle you’re just not totally sure about, wrap that shit.

 

Best drug to have sex on?

If this person’s decision making is anything like their sexual prowess they should cut their genitals off and wear two full-body condoms.

 

CLICK HERE TO SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION TO BADVICE

 

 

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Want more BADVICE? Read past installments here.